My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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