fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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