Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
