Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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