she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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