I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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