We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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