Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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