I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
