I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
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