apparently the secret to your success is patron
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize