The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Randomize
