:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
