Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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