4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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