I accidentally had phone sex last night
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
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So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
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This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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