when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
