oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
