All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
