69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
