I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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