She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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