Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize