her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Those nachos came to me in a dream
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
