i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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