Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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