Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Are we still banned from the library?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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