So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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