Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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