I must be too annoying 4 u.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
