so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
