Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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