There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
