I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Randomize
