sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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