He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
