Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
