I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
