I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
