what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
