Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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