Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Your cock deserves a montage
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
