im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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