he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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