I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
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How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
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rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Randomize