white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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