He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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