9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
