We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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