Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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