I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
My Higher Power is John Stamos
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
