why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Drunk is not a location!
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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