There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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