The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
