He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
