No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
