i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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