I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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