had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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