She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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