I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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