She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I could fuck to npr.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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