Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
