I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
